Picture
by Davens
Summary: ThreeShot Fanfic to the song Picture by Kid Rock and Sheryl Crow. Set 3 years after Tommy left.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: First songfic here, that hasn't been one of my own songs. Please be gentle. Criticism and flames welcomed. Tell me if you hate it.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Instant Star or any IS characters. I do not own "Picture", by Kid Rock and Sheryl Crow. **

_Livin' my life in a slow hell  
Different girl every night at the hotel  
I ain't seen the sun shine in 3 damn days_

It's been awhile since we last saw each other. It's been awhile since I last slept peacefully at night, without a different girl each night. I remember the time; I told you that the only girl I couldn't live without was you. I wish we hadn't given each other up. I haven't left the peace of my hotel room for 3 days. I can't stand the thought, of the pain that I'm putting you through. Stringing you along, and then pushing you away. Leave it to me to always ruin everything. How can I live up to your expectations? You deserve better than me. Someone your own age. Someone you can talk with, and laugh with. Someone who deserves your love. That isn't me girl. You can do so much better. And I wish you could see that I'm not your Prince in Shining Armor. So much better than me…

_  
Been fuelin' up on cocaine and whisky  
Wish I had a good girl to miss me  
Lord I wonder if I'll ever change my ways_

I've been spending more and more time at the hotel bar, drinking bottle after bottle of whiskey. Trying to lose your memory. And each time I see the bottom of the bottle, you're still there. Smoking only helps a little more, as I still see your face in the smoke when I exhale, wishing you were actually there. I can only try to imagine what you're going through. It would only be fate, if the Lord would help me. Because if I ever want you back, I'll have to work to change my ways. Because I wasn't there for you, when you needed me the most. And I tried so hard, to put things straight. I couldn't help it if it was the wrong way, but it seemed right for me. We shouldn't of met, not that it was your fault. I never should've seen your face, so innocent and breath-taking. It's been awhile since the first time I saw you. Hell, it's been awhile since I saw you. And there isn't anything I could do, to make this right.

_  
I put your picture away  
Sat down and cried today  
I can't look at you while I'm lyin' next to her  
I put your picture away, _

_Sat down and cried today  
I can't look at you, while I'm lyin next to her_

I've had your picture on my nightstand for the past 3 years. Today I told myself that it would be the last time I would see your smiling face, mocking me for the mistakes I have made. So I packed it away. It was a painful moment. I couldn't help the tears that came after I did it. And every night while I'm lying next to her, I couldn't see your face, and how you would've scolded me for raising this poor girl's hopes up, and telling her that I loved her. You would've been yelling at me. And there was no way; I would've done this to you. But what can you expect me to do? Just keep on going day after day without you? I guess so…


	2. Chapter 2

_**Disclaimer: I do not own, "Picture."**_

_I called you last night in the hotel__  
Everyone knows but they won't tell _

_But their half hearted smiles tell me_

_Something' just ain't right_

It's been awhile. Since I last saw his face. Kwest produces me, so I know where he is every time he moves. He just moved from a ranch in Montana to a hotel here in Toronto. Kwest gave me his number, saying that he wanted me to call him, but I can't. One night I couldn't take the anxiety any more, so I picked up the phone and dialed the number. The service desk picks up, and says that he isn't registered there. I can tell by the tone of his voice that he's lying. He goes on to say, that the records show that the last time, he was there, it has been almost 5 years since he last stayed there. I was hardly convinced. There's a chuckle in the background, and I hear a man's voice, but then the service desk hangs up the phone.

_  
I been waitin' on you for a long time  
Fuelin' up on heartaches and cheap wine  
I ain't heard from you in 3 damn nights _

_3 Days Later_

I can't remember how long it's been. My memory having been jumbled up after all those blacked out nights, after all the wine. Waking up with a different man every morning. It's been hard, worrying that you'll never come back. I still miss you. It's hard to live without you. I can't believe I've let you stay in my heart. It's been awhile. Almost too long… And yet, I can't help but wish that he stays away so I don't get my heart in pieces… Like I have every other time he has given it back to me. It hurts… It's like there's a wall around my heart, and every time he brings down that wall, and he breaks my heart, I try to rebuild my wall, but there are holes. So, it's easier for him to break down. The wine helps, but not much… It's never good enough for me to ever forget you… Kwest hasn't told me anything from you for 3 nights…

_  
I put your picture away  
I wonder where you been  
I can't look at you while I'm lyin' next to him  
I put your picture away  
I wonder where you been  
I can't look at you while I'm lyin' next to him _

Only now, am I finally putting his picture away, trying to believe my mind when it says it's over him. I wonder if he's still here, or if he moved back to Montana. But his face haunts my heart, when I'm with another man. My heart is still gripped by his fist, and it hurts because he's still squeezing it soo hard. The pain is becoming unbearable. I can't help but wonder, does he still feel the same? Or does he already have a new life? Could he have moved on without me? I don't know how I could ever move on… I miss him…_  
_


End file.
